soon: comfy sweaters, hot beverages in cups, leaves crunching under your feet, drops of rain against the window, reading your book in bed
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1. I haven’t slept in a few days. My mother thinks I’ve been drinking too much coffee but I think maybe it’s just that I really really miss rolling over in bed and finding myself pressed up against you.
2. Places that stay open 24 hours are comforting because I know that when I wake up screaming at 3 in the morning I’ll have somewhere to go when staying in bed doesn’t feel okay anymore but you always passed out by 11 and you slept through the night.
3. My sixth grade science teacher taught me that your body automatically knows to pull away when you touch something that hurts you, you’ve made me cry at least 6 times this week and I’ve lost count of the times I’ve found myself shaking and dripping blood because you forgot to tell me you love me and god it hurts so fucking much but I can’t pull away.
4. One time when I was younger my parents took me to the beach and I swam out a little too far and let the ocean choke on me and my dad screamed and yanked me out of the water. I think I’m drowning again but there is no one here to pull me out. I just need someone to fucking pull me out.
5. I’m not sure why I keep telling everyone I’m okay. I’m not okay. And sometimes when someone asks how I am I want to tell them that my heart is broken, and that’s okay you know, I can deal with a broken heart, but the pieces have been shifting and I’ve got these really sharp edges in my veins and my lungs and my stomach and I think I’m being torn apart, I’m not really sure. I can’t really breathe and I’m a little bit dizzy.
6. I think I should stop writing you letters. It’s not fair to kill trees just because you’re killing me.
7. I fell for you. Like really fell for you. Like I saw you smile and I swear to god I crashed down to earth and broke all my bones. How come when astroids fall to earth they leave craters in the ground and kill out the dinosaurs but when I do it I just end up in bed for days watching The Notebook and crying till I’m numb.
8. I thought getting high would get you off my mind but I spent a few hours standing in the middle of the street wishing you would kiss me. or that a car would hit me.
It’s been 207 days since you left and I’m still a fucking mess (via extrasad)
It’s happening again
I don’t feel so good
and I don’t know how to turn it offSongs that play like sobbing sound better
Coffee as my sole meal of the day tastes better
Canceling plans feels better
And what’s the point in getting out of bed
when I’ll be back in there tonight?I am only looking at my “to do” list
when I add to it
I am gazing out the window at
work, at school, half-here, half-dead.
I am choking out in the street
My head tells me there are people out there
that are more talented, more capable,
more beautiful, better than me
and I do not stand up to it.
I am up to my knees in unspilled blood
I am not in the mood for your questions,
so please, can you hold off on them?It is happening again.
I don’t feel so good and
I do not know how to turn it off.
Who Says I Want To, Lora Mathis (via lora-mathis)
It’s happening again
I don’t feel so good
and I don’t know how to turn it offSongs that play like sobbing sound better
Coffee as my sole meal of the day tastes better
Canceling plans feels better
And what’s the point in getting out of bed
when I’ll be back in there tonight?I am only looking at my “to do” list
when I add to it
I am gazing out the window at
work, at school, half-here, half-dead.
I am choking out in the street
My head tells me there are people out there
that are more talented, more capable,
more beautiful, better than me
and I do not stand up to it.
I am up to my knees in unspilled blood
I am not in the mood for your questions,
so please, can you hold off on them?It is happening again.
I don’t feel so good and
I do not know how to turn it off.
Who Says I Want To, Lora Mathis (via lora-mathis)
…and you drink a little too much and try a little too hard. And you go home to a cold bed and think, That was fine. And your life is a long line of fine.
Ignoring your passion is slow suicide. Never ignore what your heart pumps for. Mold your career around your lifestyle not your lifestyle around your career.
(via lopmon)
one day, in a few years from now your gonna wake up really early completely shit-faced and hung over and your gonna call her up to go out and meet for coffee. you’re gonna sit down with her, sip your coffee, look across the table into her eyes and then… and in that moment, in that coffee shop, half hung-over and drinking your coffee, you’re gonna realize it. you’re just gonna know. you’re gonna feel it in your entire body and you’re just gonna know…you’re gonna realize that you love her and that she’s the one. you’re gonna smile and you’re gonna marry her. and when you do, I wanna come to the reception. I would know, I’ve been married for 30 years and I can see it in her eyes when she looks at you, I know that look. don’t you lose her. she’s special.
a guy that was sitting next me and my girlfriend at a concert (via watrju)
Having a bad night?
Go to bed.
Do not binge. Do not drink. Do not cut. Do not self harm in any way.
Just go to bed and everything will be much brighter tomorrow.
hotboyproblems